Yes, I know...

I skipped a day. That's going to happen though. I have a real life too. And unfortunately, my imaginary life is much more organized than my real life.

We ended up making paper bag gingerbread men and ginger hamsters. They are very cute. And since it's two days later and the kids have all but forgotten about the gingerbread cookies, I have all of the stuff. I'm going to mix it up tonight so that after school tomorrow we can dive right in with the cookie cutters. Wish me luck.

Oh, and tonight we read a bunch of books because I was desperate to calm them down. It didn't work, but we read:


Of Course Polly Can Do Almost Everything by Astrid Lindgren. It's a translation from the Swedish. I think the book is out of print, but you can get copies from amazon for cheap. Jason gave me this one when he bought every Astrid Lindgren book in both Swedish and English. So every time I read this, I am reminded of how well taken care of I am. So I like this for a lot of different reasons!


A Pussycat's Christmas by Margaret Wise Brown. Which I didn't like at all. And really, I'm not a fan of Goodnight, Moon either, although everyone else seems to be.
I really, really liked this one. It shows sand and that Joseph was wearing sandals and the shepherds were out sleeping while watching the sheep. It's good to read a Christmas story that doesn't talk about snow.

We didn't do any crafts tonight, but I have a couple of other A. Lindgren books to read with the kids and we'll make Christmas heart ornaments for the tree. We might make some other things typically Swedish, but we'll see about that. I'm getting too many craft ideas for my own good.

Oops

I just thought I had a bunch of brown felt. I don't!

So I think we'll do something like this.

Christmas, Christmas time is here

(sung in a nasally, chipmunky type of voice.)

So I've decided to post what we're doing each day to get ready for Christmas. And, maybe, if the stars align and I can get myself together, post what my plans are for tomorrow. We'll see, that might be way too ambitious.

Going back in time:

Sunday, November 30:

We read the book Cranberry Christmas and made the cranberry cookie recipe off of the back. I also remembered that I don't actually like cranberries. Oh, and I didn't have the walnuts the recipe called for, so I substituted white chocolate chips. Sadly, that didn't help and I still didn't like the cookies. The kids of course did, but Jason decided that they looked like hunks of raw meat. We gave them to the neighbor after this and I made a pan of brownies. Other than that, we liked the story.

Monday, December 1

We started on the Advent calendar from the Friend. We read a scripture and talked about it and the picture. The picture is great for Annika--she can have something visual while the boys are reading. There are a bunch of other calendars on the Friend site that I like a lot, but I'm just doing this one since it's so easy to keep up with.

It seems like we read a book, but I've already forgotten which one. It's sad, this whole mommy-brain thing.

Tuesday (today)

We read the scripture for today and looked at the picture. Annika tormented Emma with the picture. We had to kick her out so we could actually have our little spiritual moment. We made little handprint Rudolphs from Family Fun. They don't look exactly like the picture, but isn't that the point. It also would have helped if I actually had any red pompoms. But I do have a ton of little red sparkly things, so the day was saved. Oh, and Sam decided that his Rudolph needed a beard instead of antlers, so his is a little scary. But it was fun. It kept the kids' attention for more than twenty minutes which is a true miracle.

And since we had the pipe cleaners, oh, I mean the chenille stems, out, we twisted a red one with a white one and made candy canes. They were more proud of those than the Rudolphs.

At bedtime we read The Gingerbread Man. That was fun--"you can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man." If I had actually planned this, I would have the molasses and dark brown sugar to make gingerbread men tomorrow. But I didn't so, I think we'll make faux gingerbread folk from Family Fun. Strangely, I do have a ton of dark brown felt.

It sounds like a lot. But really it isn't. We did what was fun until it wasn't and there was no stress. And, as you read, very little planning. I do have a list of things that are important for me do before Christmas, so we will make sure to do that and if we fit anything else in, great. If not, there's always next year!

Oh, in the interest of full disclosure, I've been trying to make this Advent calendar for several days now. I think I finally have all of the stuff, so I'm starting on it tonight. Yes, I'm starting on my December calendar on December 2!

Annika today

We had a little "tea party." We had juice and little cookies while I read her a couple of books. We read Roxaboxen, A Visitor for Bear, and Piggies.

I love spending time just with Annika and she just eats it up. I really miss homeschooling, more than I can say, but the time I get to spend one-on-one with the kids helps to make up for it.

Neither of us said anything profound or memorable, but our little juice and cookies party is something I hope Annika will remember. Even if she doesn't remember this one specifically, I hope she remembers that we did it at all.

I've Decided...

that this blog will become my "afterschooling" blog.

That means that I will chronicle the intentional learning things I do with my children in it. From the preschool-type stuff with Annika, the reading practice with Sam, the subtraction with Harry, and the playing with Emma, I'll try to list it here. I miss homeschooling more than anyone knows, but it's not the right time to bring them home. Sam, in particular, is doing great at kindergarten.

Fortunately, though, I do have time before and after school with the kids that I can use to teach them what I think is especially important. So, that's my plan. Let's hope that I can actually fulfill my intentions!

Sam's Kindergarten Orientation...

I'm going to start this post with a brief look back on Harry's kindergarten orientation.

Two years ago, I took Harry over to his old school and went into the kindergarten room where I met his two teachers who went over a bit about their classroom. His teachers went over the rules of their room and how they were one person in two. Then I was told to leave Harry head over to the cafeteria. The principal spoke to all of us parents about how our job was basically over and the kids were now theirs to do with what they will. Okay, so she didn't actually use those terms, but that was the gist of the talk. She also talked about how kindergarten is now really academic and the kids would need to do lots of work and listen and sit for a long time.

There was more, but that was the first warning about how kindergarten was going to go.

Contrast that with today. Sam and I walked into the cafeteria where the principal welcomed us and turned the time over to the teachers. There are five total, three morning classes and two afternoon. They briefly talked about how kindergarten would work and we went over to the classes. The only thing that gave me pause was one of the teachers saying, "if the kids are five minutes late, that's five minutes of learning time they miss." My thought was, "oh, no, whatever shall we do." But hey, apparently I'm a total rebel.

We went back to the classroom where his teacher (who is really, really tall) asked the kids to line up and practice walking out to meet the parents picking them up. Sam froze. I led him out with the other kids and left him standing there. He was with the kids, but not really with them. His teacher told the kids they could go find their parents and Sam just stood there. I wanted to see what she would do, how she would handle Sam just freezing.

Sam had brought a book to show the teacher, so I went over and asked Sam to show it to her. He just opened right up! He told her all about the bionicles in the book. Miss B listened and talked to him. It was great. She spend at least 10 minutes just talking with him about Bionicles and this little seal toy he had in his pocket. He was eating up the attention and really liked her. Finally it was time to leave and he kind of froze up again, but he was still doing okay. I was able to tell Miss B that he is really, incredibly shy and there is no magic key for solving it. He just has to make the decision to keep moving. I also totally impressed her by telling her that Sam can read on a third grade level and that he actually read the Bionicle book he brought with him.

When we got back in the car, Sam told me that I was right, she is really nice!

New School Orientation

So, after all of the kids left yesterday, we high-tailed it over to the school. I don't know if I mentioned it, but the school is brand new. In fact, they are still finishing a few things up. We hadn't been able to be on campus until the PTO meeting Tuesday night, and the official tour was not until yesterday evening.

The school is gorgeous--as much as a modern school can be. The kindergarten rooms are attached to the administration building and they have their own playground. It's small, but I like that they will be by themselves. The rooms have high ceilings and lots of light. They seem inviting. The teachers have baskets of books out and I hope Sam will have time to read some of them. Harry's room is smaller, which makes sense--there are 33 kids in Sam's room and 20 in Harry's. His teacher had their reading books out, so we flipped through them. So easy. In fact Harry pointed out that "they have lots of big pictures and hardly any words." Something to talk to the teacher about, but not something to freak out about. Both of their rooms have lots of things on the walls and seem very cheery.

The school library is filled with light. I took a sneak peak at the books, some of them are very good, but there are a lot of others I'd like to see, so I think I'll have to donate a few. They have no less than five copies of each of the Harry Potter books, which Harry thought was funny! The helpers and guides were all fifth graders and were very talkative. I liked that they all spoke well with me, a grown-up they didn't know.

Overall, the building impressed me. The teachers seemed nice and happy to be there. They were talkative and good with the kids. I think part of it was that they are relieved to be in their rooms and have the school mostly finished. I also know that the school building doesn't matter a bit if the teachers aren't good, so I need to keep my full opinion for after school starts.

But my first impression is positive. Yay!

It's Getting Closer and Closer...

I really don't want to send the boys to school. The time is getting shorter and shorter and I'm panicking. Not really panicking, but just very emotional. I will do this and I'll only show them how excited I am, but inside...I really don't want them to go.

The Curse of Low Expectations

I went to my first PTO meeting last night at the kids' new school and I ran smack up against what I am calling "The Curse of Low Expectations." It's the attitude that what we have is fine, it's all we'll ever going to get and nothing will ever change, so why ask.

Example One:

I was looking at the kindergarten playground which has one small structure for up to 90 kids to play on and mentioned to another mom that it seemed small. Her response, "well, they only have 20 minutes to have their snack and play, so it's okay."

Really--I would think that since they only have 20 minutes to play, we'd like it to be spent playing, not waiting to play.

Example Two:

There is no art or music taught at the school. None. And it's not a priority for the school. However, if the PTO wants to pay art and music teachers we can. Doesn't that seem odd to you?

Those are the two main examples that came up last night. I'm sure there will be more as they actually start school!

Now I'm repeating my new mantra: "They will be fine, they will make friends, they will have fun, they will be fine."

What Do I Want?

I want a perfect school. Preferably one that I can take the kids to in the morning and pick them up at lunchtime. That way they will get to have school, I'll get some time and we will have most of the day together. No homework unless absolutely needed--in case they don't understand something and need more practice.

A school where they read good books--not parts of books and not readers. But actual good books. Ones that I would select. And once they are finished with the book, the kids would narrate back to the teacher what they read. That way they would learn how to discuss and learn from others. One where printing is actually taught, not to be picked up by osmosis. Because osmosis only really works in science. A school that teaches how to write as fluidly as they teach narration. If you read good books and require kids to narrate, their writing will reflect that. Their spelling will too, for the most part. But if spelling does need to be taught as it's own subject, it won't be with little lists, but again by reading good books and absorbing how language works. Grammar would be taught early, but not in a manner that the kids circle all of the verbs, but by using the whole body and things around them. I want Language Arts to be taught as something that they use all of the time, not just in class.

Math would not be taught using guessing. There is one right answer in math and if you aren't right, you are wrong. It sounds harsh, but I'd rather my doctor be someone who actually knows the right answer instead of one who is told to guess for it. I'm probably crazy like that.

Science would start with nature studies and how the world works. Not with textbooks and by reading about experiments, but by getting outside and being part of the world.

Social Studies would be banned. Kids would learn history instead of about firemen and mayors. Geography would be a major part of their history lessons. The past would be taught using stories about the people who came before them. The children would learn that where things happened is just as important as what happened and why.

Art and music would be integral to the lessons. The children would have time to get up and move and play.

There's more to my perfect school, but let me end there for now.

Feel the Power!

I already wrote about visiting with the principal and my concerns with Sam's teacher. Well, the principal said that he would try to put Sam in the teacher's class, but that the morning kindergarten was full, so he might put him into the afternoon class that has a different, also good, teacher. Then I spoke with the secretary who said that both of these classes were full and he would be in the class of one of the teachers we didn't want in the afternoon.

I had a very frustrated moment, then got back on the phone with the principal who said he'd straighten everything out. And he did!

Thank goodness. Sam is going to morning kindergarten with the really good teacher, Miss B. He's actually really excited and keeps looking at the paper with his teacher on it. I'm excited too. This school experiment just might work out after all!

Another Thing...

I don't think that people understand. I'm not sending the boys to school because homeschooling didn't "work" or that I couldn't handle it or that they weren't listening or it was too hard. I'm sending them because it is time.

Sure, I pulled Harry from kindergarten because of issues we had with the school, but sending him in the first place wasn't planned. I had planned on keeping him home for kindergarten.

It really is a lifestyle. I enjoy spending my days with my children. I enjoy teaching them and being the one to watch their eyes light up when they discover a new interest. There probably isn't a parent out there that would say they didn't. But for a year and a half, I was the one to introduce everything to Harry. I got to see everything. And not all of it was sweetness and light. Some of it was quite difficult. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. That's another part of why this is such a difficult transition.

A good meeting

I met with the principal this morning. He answered all of my questions and I really got a good feeling from him. The meeting wasn't long, but it did help me feel better about sending the kids. One of the final things he said was to give him a chance and let him surprise me with how good things are. So I think I will give him the chance. If the school really does what they want to, it will be a good place.

There's more to come, but I need to play with my kids now. Bunco is tomorrow night and I'm hosting, so tomorrow is going to be a whirlwind of preparation.

Don't they understand...

that I do have a choice?

I just got a vaguely threatening call from the school. The attendance secretary is very concerned that she doesn't have proof of Sam's latest physical and dental appointments. Apparently she can't assign him to a teacher until she has that. And "the school is filling up quickly, of course."

Oh no, whatever will I do?! I'll have to...oh don't say it...homeschool?! The horror.

That's not completely true--since he is in the district they will have to find a place for him at one of the other schools nearby. Which would be an issue because as far as I know, Harry is in at the new school. This isn't the first time I've heard this and I have yet to see a line forming outside of the school.

If

you have a major decision to grapple with, and you're not quite sure how to do it, I would suggest that you have visitors come for the next few weeks. That will give you plenty to do while you process the decision. Once the visitors leave, you will have more or less come to terms with it magically while you are so busy.

Or at least that's my experience. Sort of. We had family come for the last three weeks of July--right after the decision to send the boys to school was made. First my Mom, and then almost all of Jason's family. So we got real busy and I just didn't have time to dwell on sending the boys.

However, that can backfire too. Once everyone left, I was a little bummed because I missed everyone and now I'm spending my time dreading sending them to school. I know I'm being melodramatic, and honestly, I don't care. When I think of them in school I get weepy and my stomach hurts.

I'd like to say that that this transition will be easier for them than for me--but I don't know that. There are just too many "what-ifs." I look at my children and they are so innocent, I wonder if the kids in their classes will make fun of them for that. I was teased unmercifully all through middle school, what if it starts earlier in school now?

Anyway, hopefully it will be more difficult for me. I'm trying to focus on the good parts of sending them to school. I bought Sam his backpack last week and he's taken it everywhere with him. He'd like to where it to bed, but he can't sleep on it! He's excited to go to kindergarten. They have reference for that since Harry went for a few months and it was fun and exciting.

Oh yeah, so tomorrow morning I have an appointment with the principal to talk to him about the kids. I have a list, but if you were able to ask a principal anything you could (with regards to school), what would you ask him?

Thanks,
Felicity

They're In!

I registered the boys this morning for school. So it's official.

It was pretty easy and straightforward. Part of me feels better now that I've met someone from the school and part of me just wants to run screaming the other way. As I said, the school is brand new and the plans are just beautiful. Strangely enough they are putting boulders in as decoration and you know the kids are all going to want to climb on them and they won't be allowed to. There is a preschool on-site, so maybe Annika will join the boys over there. (I'm kidding, although she did just dump an entire bottle of laundry soap into the dryer. Any more of that and she'll be off to boarding school.)

The library has it's own building which is fairly big and our school district does still have librarians, which apparently, for our area, is rare. Sam's speech service will be in a little room, one on one, which is nice. Sam will have 33 in his class and Harry only 20. The secretary that I talked to thinks that the kindergarten should be full day so they have more instructional time. Which, obviously, I disagree with.

The classes are all integrated, so 70% of the kids in any one class will be esl. The party line for that is "well, it's the area we live in." Yes, I know that, but it doesn't make me feel better about sending my kids to school.

I was pleased that when I asked to have an appointment with the principal, the answer was, "when would you like to come in? Is tomorrow good for you?" That in itself says a lot.

But, I have to go now, we have a housefull of family to hang out with. I just wanted to update the saga.

A Wrinkle

Or maybe a crease.

I've been intentionally surrounding myself with people that are pro-public school. That way if I start to waver or get worried about something, the automatic answer won't be, "just keep them home." But today I got a call from a friend who homeschools and who, I'm sure won't understand why they are going to school in the fall. I really like this woman--she is incredibly friendly and nice, but I'm afraid that she will try to sway me back to homeschooling. And since I'm already kind of freaked out about everything, I'll just get more worried.

This is actually the opposite problem that I see with people who homeschool--they don't talk to many people about it because they might try to change their mind.

Apparently this post is going nowhere, but if I want to keep being friends with her, how do I do that? Honestly, I know that academically and in just about every other way homeschooling is a thousand times better than regular school, but they are going anyway. It's not something I can explain well (obviously), so I think I'll just have to bow out of this friendship for a while.

I knew this was going to be hard, but why does it keep just getting harder and harder by the day?

Preparation

According to well, everybody, the principal at the new school is the best in the district and maybe on the planet. And he got to pick the best teachers from the existing schools to teach at the new school. Seriously, this guy had better be good or everyone I've talked to this week will have a lot of explaining to do.

So knowing that, I've been asking around to find the best of the best teachers. There is definite consensus for second grade, but not for kindergarten yet. Hopefully that will come, seeing as I'm going in on Wednesday morning to formally register them. I have to take their birth certificates, immunization records, physical forms and dental forms. I'm also planning to take the forms from some tests Harry took last year showing that he reads at a higher level, another set of tests for Sam's reading. I also have to take Sam's IEP for speech so he can continue to receive services.

I'm getting everything organized and planning to play the "I'm-a-homeschool-mom-that's-really-nervous-about-this-and-I-won't-send-my-kids-here-(giving you about $15,000 a year)-unless-I-get-what-I-want" card. I'm a much smarter public-school Mom than I was when Harry started kindergarten.

Crossing the Rubicon

Yesterday we read in Story of the World about Caesar's return to Rome, even though he knew that he would be arrested. Apparently he stopped at the Rubicon River and told his men that once they crossed things would change and asked if they were ready. Of course, Caesar being Caesar went on and crossed the Rubicon. We've been talking about how the phrase, "crossing the Rubicon" has come to mean a decision that can't be undone.

Well, I feel as though I'm probably crossing the Rubicon with my almost certain decision to send the boys to school next year. It's not totally certain until the day school starts (when of course, we'll be on vacation), but I'd say 90%.

I can only explain this decision one way--by talking about the Church Relief Society lessons I've been giving lately, especially the one from the last Sunday on Obedience. There was a phrase in the lesson that said something like, "you ask for the answer, then you follow the answer, what every it may be." I expanded that a little in talking about integrity and the fact that you didn't have to ask, but once you did, you are pretty much obligated to follow the direction.

I asked, thinking I knew the answer. But I still asked one night about whether I should keep the boys home. And the answer was very clear. I need to send them to school. So you see, I asked and I got an answer--not the one I wanted, but an answer nonetheless.

There is a lot going on in my mind right now. I'm trying really hard to be excited and not worry. I'm really trying hard not to focus on the things I had planned for next year and focus instead on preparing them to go to school.

Honestly, I think one of the hardest things for me to accept is that I won't be a teacher any more. I'll still have Annika and Emma home and Sam for part of the day, but I won't have to make the formal plans I've done in the past. I don't need to plan out my day in terms of Math, Reading, Science and History. I won't need to pore through books finding the best way to teach this or that. Being a homeschool mom has allowed me to hold onto some of the more "adult" parts of my identity even while spending the days with my children. And I'll miss that. A lot. I expect that I'll be at loose ends for a while. I'll need to find a new identity that I can live with and be excited about.

This is getting pretty long, but allow me to indulge in this just a bit longer. I think I'll chronicle our lives getting ready to go to school in the next month or so and the first part of the school year in this space and then close it down. This is going to be really hard, wish us all luck please.

notable quotables

(in deference to my kids' love of Jeopardy)

Heard around the house today:

Sam: "It isn't fun, but it sure is easy." About an activity book he was working on--I told him he didn't need to do any of it if it wasn't fun, but he just replied that it was easy. Okay then!

Annika, with great joy and excitement in her voice: "Mama, I'm going to be five too, just like Sam-boy!"

Annika, confused to Harry, "Why do you call Baby Jane, 'Emma'?" Um, I don't know, maybe because it's her name. Oddly enough she said "Emma," not "Enna." She actually used the m sound, the absence of which is driving her speech teacher crazy.