I've Figured it Out

I have been trying to figure out what I really felt about Harry going to school. It's been an unsettling feeling. One that was stronger than me just missing him during the day but I'm not wandering around weeping (anymore). It's been hard to put my finger on it, to name the feeling.

Today though while talking to some friends, I figured it out. I miss the sense that we were a team. I miss that while I was definitely in charge of school and lessons, we made decisions on exactly what and how he'd learn together. I miss being able to explain to him why it was important to do something, beyond "the teacher said so."

And if I may put words in his mouth, I'd say that he misses that too. That I treated him not exactly as an equal, but as a partner in this whole education thing. He trusted that when I gave him an assignment, there was a reason behind it.

We don't have that partnership anymore. All I know is what he will tell me and honestly, that's not much. (He is 13, after all.) I know that I'm so very lucky to have had it for so long. Here's hoping we find our footing again soon. Together.

A Homeschooler Goes to School

This is a post that I've been wanting to write for a few weeks now. It's about Harry returning to school in eighth grade after being homeschooled since second grade. But there is a problem with me writing about that. I want to be sensitive and protective of Harry and what he's going through, but as you can imagine, it's a major change for our family and for me personally. So I will write briefly about my reaction to Harry going to school.

I miss him. I miss Harry during the day--joking with him, telling him to sit down and do his work, and just having him around. I like my kids (not saying that people that send their own kids to school don't) and it's nice to have him around. Beyond missing him during the day though, I miss the big blocks of time that we used to have to hang out. He now has very little time to just be. Right now he's in soccer, piano, and Scouts. That along with homework every night means that a lot of our interactions are just about school and getting stuff done. So I miss time with him.

I have a lot of feelings about how I could teach ______ better, what ever ______ is. Which is true for some things--English, Language Arts, even Science, and not for others (Geometry). But really, it doesn't matter. I'm kind of hoping I can supplement at some point, but it will have to be really informal since, as I said above, he has no extra time.

On the other hand, he's doing fine in school. He enjoys being there and has a group of friends that he hangs out with. He's learning to juggle different teachers and their differing expectations. He's getting involved with clubs after school and making even more friends there. 

Overall, Harry's doing well. There's a lot more in that "well" though than I'm saying. There are things that I love (Model UN) and things I don't (homework). There are things he loves and doesn't love and there are things we both can improve on. And I guess that's kind of normal. 

Pathetic, I Know.

I could feel really bad about not writing on this blog for six months, but I'm not. Things change and I just don't have the time to devote to writing two blogs. (I have a personal blog that I don't link here.)

And things have really changed in the last little bit. My 13yo, Harry, started 8th grade at our local middle school. Sam, the 11yo is still homeschooling, and the girls are in 4th and 1st grades at the local elementary. As things change the way I process and work through what's happening also changes. This blog will reflect the changes in our lives. I'm hoping to write more, but there are no guarantees.